Recalling a "fag" beating in highschool

Warning, Not a "fun" read...

My own story of school is not unlike the topic in which Simon in Montreal posts about on his blog and the post below this one.

I have mentioned a few times what happened to me as a teen in high school. It was pretty much hell a lot of the time. That's not to say I did not experience good times as well, I just wonder how many others were faced with having to hide behind pillars so bullies wouldn't see me, or wait for the bell to ring and the halls were empty to go to my locker. That made me a couple minutes late for class and often a lecture from the teacher.

As awful as being called out in front of the whole class for being late again, it was better than the likelihood of being caught out in the hall and called fag or dicksucker or worse by people that had no reason to think such things of me. I didn't even know I was gay myself.

I had excelled in high school early on, I was a good athlete in soccer and rugby despite being the smallest guy in school. I didn't like gym, climbing ropes, chin-ups etc. I did them but not without a great deal of fear of failing at them.

In grade ten I became more than someone that was "simply" the subject of name calling and being pushed around, tripped or pushed. I was attacked in an ambush.

Ten boys from my school stood and waited for me and my friend to walk down town for lunch through a church yard. As we approached the end of the church property they stepped out from behind the trees and blocked our path. They asked me where I was going. I told them and started to walk around them. They blocked us.

They were only interested in me, my friend was the high school basketball star. One guy grabbed me and started pushing me to the ground. I refused to be pushed and that is when he hit me. He swung his open hand and slapped me in the face, telling me I was a faggot. My nose was bleeding and my friend said cool it guys but was held back by two or three of them.

I kicked from behind. It was unexpected and caused me to fall. When I fell a guy jumped on me to keep me on the ground. He was slapping my face, demanding I admit I was a fag. Each time he would demand it, I kept my mouth shut. When I did not respond he started slapping me on my face, the back of my head, sometimes pulling my hair, raising my head off the ground.

This went on for several minutes and those around me started yelling insults. Some were not satisfied. They started kicking me in the side, on my legs. One guy kicked me in the jaw. They were laughing, demanding I tell them I was a fag. All this time they held my friend back.

I did not know I was a gay, I wondered what made them think I was. The attack kept up, until the lunch hour was almost over. They left us there, me bleeding from the nose, mouth and cuts on my head, arms and soon to be bruised all over.

We made it back to the school. I went to a washroom and cleaned up as best I could. I felt embarrassed that this happened to me. I needed to be tough. I knew that if I had admitted I was a Fag, these boys would never let up on me. I admitted nothing, said nothing. In the classroom after i was cleaned up, bruises started to appear and my face swelled up. My teacher was very concerned and asked what happened.

I refused to talk. I felt i was inferior for some reason, I could have avoided the beating some how. The teacher was persistent, I told him I was beat up by some guys. He wanted to know why, I said I didn't know.

No more attacks like that happened to me in school. It made me very weary of those around me. I was always watching out for those that had attacked me. I became very good at staying out of sight, out of the way. Nothing happened to these boys as a result of attacking me. Several of them turned out to be decent people when they became adults, three of them had problems with the law for years to come. Four of the attackers I know nothing more about.

I went to the library to look up Homosexual. I found it in a dictionary. It said something like "Homosexuals were sexual deviants, a psychological disorder." I don't recall exactly what it said today. The school had no place for me to go, no one to talk to about this. I certainly wasn't going to talk to a school counselor if he would think I was a pervert.

The word fag is used as a put down for anything bad. It is used to degrade, to hurt others gay and straight. Today some schools have GSA's. Gay Straight Alliances. Places youth can go for support. Not all schools have them. In fact most schools do not have them. Why no pressure from government to make it happen?

Homophobia is alive and thriving in our schools. As long as authorities and peers allow this behavior, all the rights in the world will not keep youth safe. More stories like mine will occur, and sadly, worse things will happen.

In the interim, the boys and girls that live through each assault lose a little more of themselves every time.

Just how dangerous is a Harper Government

There are many examples to choose from. Most think that having a minority government means that there is a counter weight called the opposition to keep a government in line. That has not been what has happened during the successive Harper minority governments.

Here are just a few short examples of how decisions can be made by any government including a minority one when you have a fractured opposition.

The House of Commons voted in the majority to support and NDP motion to allow US Armed Forces deserters sanctuary in Canada. The Harper government has simply ignored the motion passed by Parliament and forced the extradition of American deserters back to the USA.

Omar Ahmed Khadr remains prisoner in Gitmo, the only person from a western country (Canada) to remain in US custody. This despite a Supreme Court ruling telling the Harper Government to make efforts to re-patriot Khadr.

Several Canadians remain in US prisons after being convicted of crimes in that country. In most instances for the last 20 years the Canadian government has allowed them to serve their sentence in a Canadian prison, closer to family and community. Harper and his government has refused, even after the Americans have approved such transfers.

In the same vein, Canada has long held a position of being opposed to the death penalty. The death penalty was removed long ago in Canada, yet the Harper government has chosen not to intervene in the cases of several Canadians facing the death penalty in the US.

Funding for so called "progressive" health issues has been cut and or spent and the resulting work held up on the PM's desk. The federal government has refused to allow an HIV prevention campaign to be launched since 2007 because it is not the kind of campaign they would a approve of. They didn't say anything to the group developing the campaign, they kept the finished product from being used after spending 10's of thousands of dollars developing it.

If that is not enough, then lets look at water on First Nations in Canada. Its abysmal. At any one time there are 80 to 180 boil water advisories in First Nation communities in Canada. If that were happening in 'white' dominated communities all hell would break loose. When several deaths occurred in Walkerton Ontario due to e-coli in the water, the whole system of ensuring safe drinking water was overhauled as it should have been.

Next we have the H1N1 virus, known to most as the swine flu. This has been particularily harsh in First Nation communities due to overcrowded living conditions, unsafe drinking water and a lack of adequate health care.

Lastly though not all, we have the Children of Attawapiskat. They have been denied a new school after their old school was declared unfit.


Okay, can there be any other reason that the Harper government has done nothing for the Children of Attawapiskat than overt discrimination.

This is one of the old fights in this country. First Nations students are required to attend school just like all other children in Canada. Canadian children in general get very good education. Education is always considered a priority for provincial and federal governments.

Delivery of quality education is a priority for everyone except First Nation Students in Canada. At least that is the message being delivered by the Federal Minister of Indian Affairs, Chuck Strahl. In fact several Ministers in the last few years have promised a new school. Not one of those Ministers have delivered on a school to date.

Yet in 2007, then Minister of Indian Affairs, Jim Prentice announced the funding was there for the school. In December of 2007 in walks Chuck Strahl. He cancels the funding. The Harper Government says it will cost too much due to the rising cost of construction.

The government resorted to have civil servants respond to the issue. Listen to this employee of the Ministry of Indian Affairs try to defuse the bomb loaded by his boss, Chuck Strahl.


That was incredible. This Civil Servant is either scared for his job or between a rock and a hard place and thus has chosen to cast himself as a complete idiot to keep his job. He is a hired gun and it appears the civil service has decided to simply acquiesce.

There is little excuse for doing nothing. Yet when an MP, Charlie Angus sees that a school is needed it is portrayed by one government member as grand standing and as a sign that that member is choosing 'Indians' over white kids. The attack is that simple. See here.

I ask you to imagine a Canada with a Steven Harper majority. Is that the kind of Canada you want? In fact is a Steven Harper minority worth propping up for any reason? Look what he has managed to do while in office. Does he reflect your values?

I suspect most of you reading this will agree with me. Harper has to go and go soon. Now if the LPC will just stop being so self interested, ie waiting for just the right polling, and get out there like the NDP and stand for something. Together either in a coalition or in propping up a new government, they can undo a lot of whats wrong in Steven Harper's Canada!