Santa Must Be Gay

Santa Must Be Gay

I received this from the net. I am not sure where it is from but it is cute!

Santa Must Be Gay

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myths, but I believe Santa is gay.

Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a straight guy could possibly pull it all off.

For starters, think about the planning that goes into an event like Christmas. Even Martha Stewart is envious. Straight men have day jobs, so they would not have time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a bell all day. However, if you are a gay, out-of-work Actor/Dancer/Waiter, it is the perfect gig until you get your big break.

Also, if he were straight he would have picked a more masculine animal than the reindeer to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the reindeer just happens to appeal to Santa's inherent sense of grace and beauty. And those names: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen? Fill in the blanks.

Mrs. Claus has been married to him for eons and he has never fathered a child with her, she's overweight and still content. Can you say "Fag-hag?"

Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's gay, too! "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.” As if, he wanted to. Isn't Rudolph really a metaphor for the gay child in a straight society, anyway?

Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert at Christmas time? Well, now you know. And stop pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've always liked fruitcake.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a straight man:
1. Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip!
2. Red velvet, fur collar, black ! engineer boots. Think people!!!
3. Gay men have long been using stockings to hide their candy.
4. Toys, toys, toys.

HoHo /Homo...a little too similar if you ask me.

That long overnight flight around the world taps into the flight attendant gene.
And one more thing, did you ever know a straight guy named Nicholas? Oh, straight society has tried to butch up his image by calling him St. Nick, but we know better. It's Nicholas, damn it! ... or Ms. Claus if you’re nasty.

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Little Sisters Book & Art Emporium

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