1.10.2005

Gay Marriage is just Wrong!

Think about it.
Take a stand.


Adapted from GatorGSA.org

1 Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2 Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3 Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4 Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5 Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6 Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7 Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like Stephen Harper, and Stockwell Day want to create, the values of the official state religion are always imposed on the entire country.

8 Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9 Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10 Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11 Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License

3 comments:

Mark said...

Where did you find this, Rick? It was pretty wild and, sadly, it is probably what lots of people believe! Actually, I like numbers 5 and 9...my black husband (I'm white) and I think we should be able to marry our dog and cat and have a foursome :) (well, maybe not!!)

Rick Barnes said...

Dear Mark

It was Adapted from GatorGSA.org, the link is above. I love it as well!

Bad Methodist said...

Excellent! #5 omits a very important point about the completely unchanging nature of marriage: polygamy and concubines are still the norm, just like Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, etc. practiced.